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‘Elections, Not Erections’: Senator Natasha Berates Akpabio in Satirical Apology Letter

by Tropic Reporters
April 27, 2025
in Politics
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Senator Natasha Akpoti Uduaghan has issued a fiery satirical letter addressed to Senate President Godswill Akpabio, mocking what she described as the culture of entitlement, compliance, and personal favoritism within the Senate leadership.

In the strongly worded letter titled “Satirical Apology Letter,” the senator began with a dramatic tone, stating, “It is with the deepest sarcasm and utmost theatrical regret that I tender this apology for the grievous crime of possessing dignity and self-respect in your most exalted presence.”

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Senator Natasha, representing Kogi Central, ridiculed what she suggested was an expectation of compliance beyond legislative duties.

She wrote, “I have reflected extensively on my unforgivable failure to recognize that legislative success in certain quarters is apparently not earned through merit, but through the ancient art of compliance — of the very personal kind.”

The senator accused the leadership of prioritizing personal gratification over national interest. She sarcastically apologized for “prioritizing competence over capitulation, vision over vanity, and the people’s mandate over private dinners behind closed doors.”

Highlighting the broader implications of her perceived resistance, she added, “I now realize the catastrophic consequences of my actions: legislation delayed, tempers flared, and the tragic bruising of egos so large they require their own postcodes.”

Taking an even sharper jab, Senator Natasha stated, “Please find it in your magnanimous heart — somewhere buried deep beneath layers of entitlement — to forgive this stubborn woman who mistakenly believed that her seat in the Senate was earned through elections, not erections.”

Concluding her satirical tirade, she affirmed her commitment to her principles, signing off:
“I remain, yours in eternal resistance, Senator Natasha H. Akpoti Uduaghan — Unafraid, Unbought, and Unbroken.”

The letter, which has since gone viral, underscores rising tensions within the National Assembly and signals Natasha’s open defiance of internal power plays.

She ended with a bold reaffirmation of her identity: “Natasha for a reason.”

Tags: Godswill AkpabioLegislative CrisisNigerian politicspolitical dramaSarcastic ApologySatirical LetterSenateSenate LeadershipSenator Natasha Akpoti Uduaghan
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